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View Full Version : Beer turns you into a Woman!


Itchyknee
29-10-06, 01:58 PM
Last month, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional.

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally

8) Had to sit down while urinating.


No further testing was considered necessary.

:dishes: :scarl: :bolt:

Dai Robb
29-10-06, 02:07 PM
I assume you have a hangover Itchy? or just a death wish?
Why else would you take your life in your hands whilst allbeit bang on, and post it?

CelticCeith
29-10-06, 02:28 PM
I assume you have a hangover Itchy? or just a death wish?
Why else would you take your life in your hands whilst allbeit bang on, and post it?

Now, now, now Dai ... don't be shooting the messanger!!

Dai Robb
29-10-06, 02:29 PM
I am sure with all these Women on here, i would not leave myself open
You never know they might just pay you a visit???
The wife is bad enough?/

Itchyknee
29-10-06, 02:36 PM
Ahem, I felt it was my duty to the lovely ladies on this forum to flag up this sexist nonsense.

:baby:

piper_dancer
29-10-06, 02:49 PM
ITCHYKNEE!!!!!!

you better start running!

Itchyknee
29-10-06, 02:50 PM
PD, I'm well ahead you hehe!

:scarl: :bolt:

piper_dancer
29-10-06, 03:23 PM
just wait till Carrie sees.

:bolt::bolt: yeah. that's right. RUN.

redneck
29-10-06, 03:58 PM
It's all true I tell yee...............that's why I drink Guinness :Ceith: :Ceith: :Ceith: :Ceith:

drummer_dancer
29-10-06, 08:16 PM
OHH DEAR WE sOOO HAVE IT IN FOR YOU NOW!
NICE WORK!
NOW FEAR THE 'ESTROGEN' WRATH THATS COMING YOUR WAY.

Itchyknee
29-10-06, 08:28 PM
:wee:

Dai Robb
29-10-06, 11:15 PM
I told you, I told you, Your Gonna get it, your gonna get it.

Itchyknee
29-10-06, 11:22 PM
Thanks for the support Dai!

:yourock:

Stormy
31-10-06, 12:28 AM
........the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional.

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally

8) Had to sit down while urinating.



The truth behind the theory is that the female sex do this as part of their metabolism, it is inbred in the female genes.
Men do it for a laugh and return to normality after a good sleep!!!

:sassjane:

Nowan
31-10-06, 12:54 PM
Now I'd like to have a look at those points from another side...

let us ASSUME that Itchyknee owed a Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 and was very proud of it. Let's also assume that Itchyknee drove with it too fast because speed makes his male hormones rise to unknown limits and after he had drunk because his male hormones think drinking till you drop is cool. Logicaly he'd end up against a tree, of course he would survive.

Now let's have a look at the points he described in his situation:

1) Argued over nothing.
=> I'm sure he'll be quite angry for his car to be crushed and therefor will get mad easily.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
=> He'll deny that he was drunk and drove too fast, that tree was out to get himsince he had do some cuttings in it last year because the neighbours were complaining of leaves falling on their property...

3) Gained weight.
=> A possible reaction to the depression caused by the void of the loss of his car... eatin' eatin' and eatin' some more...

4) Talked excessively without making sense.
=> talking about his brand new gearsystem, his tuned rims, and a lot more of those fancy carparts which sound like they come out of a space shuttle

5) Became overly emotional.
=> who wouldn't when his *********$ car nopw looks like a soda can...

6) Couldn't drive.
=> Duh, his car is more worth in a junkyard then on any road on the planet.

7) Failed to think rationally
=> see n5

8) Had to sit down while urinating.
=> A possible consequense from the accident, or just an optional point.


Anyway, if Itchyknee claims all this is untrue, he'll admit his first post to be untrue too, if he doesn't... I'm sure Carrie would love to hear about it :wink:

streakypiper
02-11-06, 03:34 AM
Haha. This topic reminds me of all the times ive slept on my driveway, afraid going inside incase the drinks i put away decide they want to come back out again.

Im sure everyone has had similar experiences. e.g. After a pipeband win! Crawling home.

:Ceith: :beer:

Scott Foster
02-11-06, 02:37 PM
No sorry Mr. Australia. I never drink at pipe band functions.

streakypiper
02-11-06, 11:59 PM
Bah hahahahahahahahahahhaahahaha. Scott you make me laugh.