The Pipe Band Forum  
Hello Unregistered , welcome to the PBF!

Go Back   The Pipe Band Forum > Outside the Circle > Room Of Fun > Joke Room

Custom Search
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-12-06, 11:38 AM   #1
sass jane
just me....
sass jane's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: way out in left field...
Posts: 3,008
Casino cash: $5895

Thanks: 1,100
Thanked 690 Times in 478 Posts
Cool A Piper's Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a piper was stirring--they all were quite soused;
Their hose were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Knicker-less soon would be there;
The drummers were nestled all snug in their beds,
Midst visions of drumsticks and new Premier heads.
And Ma in balmoral and I in my tam,
Had just settled down for an impromptu jam,
When out on he lawn there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair, my music a-scatter.
Away to the window I tore in a hurry.
Yelling to Ma, "Keep piping! Don't worry!"
She struck in her drones and had a wee blow,
As I gazed at the moonlight on new-fallen snow.
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a sleigh full of pipers and drummers and beer.
With a little old driver who spoke with such force,
That I knew right away--he's the PM, of course!
More rapid than eagles his pipers they came--
He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Angus! Now, Seamus! Now, Gordon and Harry--
On, Duncan! On Ian! On, Willie and Larry.
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now pipe away! Pipe away! Pipe away all!"
Almost as one, and without any gripes,
They blew up and struck in eight sets of pipes.
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The chanters, the drum rolls, with nary a goof.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney Knicker-less came with a bound;
With shoes newly shined, and shirt neatly pressed;
He was, I could see, regimentally dressed.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
I could see that he'd already been into the sherry.
I smiled at him now and became somewhat bolder,
As a new set of Naills he flung on his shoulder.
The blowstick he held tight in his teeth,
The bass drone caught at and knocked off our wreath.
He had a broad face, was fairly well built,
And, damn! this guy looked good in a kilt!
A wink of his eye, a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I'd be best off in bed;
He spoke not a word, by the light of the moon,
But struck in his pipes and played me a chune.
He played a 2/4, a 6/8, and a reel,
A strathspey, a hornpipe, a jig--with great zeal.
After he'd played all these chunes just for me,
He stopped and put gifts out under the tree--
Pipes by McCallum, and pipes made by Kron,
All guaranteed to blow steady tone;
Reeds and chanters, a new water trap,
Ash plugs and tuners, and all of that---stuff.
Then laying a finger aside of his nose,
He gave the pipes a couple more blows;
He looked at the chimney he'd come down before,
Said, "The hell with this--I'll go out the door!"
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of Scotch thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, e'er he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all--and a Piping Hot night!"

(Written by a lady in Arizona)
Life is short....Play often.
sass jane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-06, 01:28 PM   #2
Super V.I.P.
jjpiper's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sudbury, Northern Ontario
Posts: 1,701
Casino cash: $2371

Thanks: 410
Thanked 191 Times in 133 Posts

I love it. Thanks for some Christmas cheer.
jjpiper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-06, 08:38 PM   #3
Queen of the Shoutbox
piper_dancer's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Stoney Creek, Canada
Posts: 5,197
Casino cash: $2147483647

Thanks: 1,720
Thanked 1,102 Times in 734 Posts


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
piper_dancer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-06, 08:44 PM   #4
PBF Security
Vikki's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 16,577
Casino cash: $27549

Thanks: 1,619
Thanked 2,567 Times in 1,573 Posts

lol, thats cool

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

"And there's nothing wrong with me,
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me"
My Countdown Counting down to: Travelling.... but where to??
california here I come!
Vikki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-06, 06:35 PM   #5
Super V.I.P.
Werepiper's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Frosterley, Co.Durham
Age: 59
Posts: 4,671
Casino cash: $716

Thanks: 173
Thanked 244 Times in 172 Posts

I love this.

We have an irreverent Christmas Carol concert every year in our pub and I am going to use this as one of the readings.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Werepiper is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Christmas Fairy Kiltswinger Joke Room 1 18-12-08 06:37 AM
What's your take on YouTube pipers - good and bad? wjjagfan General Piping Room 11 03-03-07 09:56 PM
Amount of pipers in a grade 1 band Steve General Piping Room 18 18-06-06 09:15 PM

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:43 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.